I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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