I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize