my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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