I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize