im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize