Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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