is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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