For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize