I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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