We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize