Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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