did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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