Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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