It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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