I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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