sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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