peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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