Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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