yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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