return my video game
My sheets look like a crime scene.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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