I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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