I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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