I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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