you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you mean i was at the winter classic?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize