My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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