Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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