i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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