I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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