I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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