Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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