Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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