So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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