i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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