Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize