i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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