I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize