Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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