Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
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Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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