ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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