You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize