remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize