I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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