I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
