I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize