She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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