So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
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you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
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Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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