the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize