Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize