accomplished twins. life is a go
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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