he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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