so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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